Wedding Things

[curgoth]

No, not mine. that isn't for another few decades.

neeuqdrazil's brother is getting married Canada Day long weekend, and I am tired of being one of those guys wearing a black suit, black tie and a red dress shirt to try to look slightly alternative while still conforming. Wearing all neo-victorian/steampunk formal wear has its own problems since I may end up looking fancier/more formal than the groom.

He's getting married in Nova Scotia.

I've been pondering getting a proper kilt - as in buying one. I'd probably wear it every now and then, so it'd probably be worth it. The kilt alone should be within budget, but I don't know that I can justify to myself buying the rest of the kit - the Bonnie Prince Charlie velvet jacket, the ruffly white shirt (that is a different style than the ruffly white shirt I already own), the big socks, the sock knife, etc. I likely would only wear that stuff to weddings or other occasional formal events.

I have quite a bit of random formal wear in the general Western tradition, with a significant Neo-victorian bent. This leaves me wondering if I can get away with putting together the rest of the outfit with stuff I already own.

So I turn to you, O Flist, for your opinions on wedding-wear for the modern weirdo.

[Poll #1391420]

Comments

the Nasty Fashionista says:

[much-ado.livejournal.com]

modern formal (suit, oxford shirt +tie) over kilt

under absolutely NO circumstances is this a good idea; the cut of a modern suit jacket is completely at odds with the flare on a kilt even over a man's hips, plus the hemline is often too long to ride well on the pleats.

so no, no, no, and no.

i like the 9 yards of plaid and some woad though. it *can* get awfully damned hot at that time of year, even in the Atlantic provinces.

Re: the Nasty Fashionista says:

[olletho.livejournal.com]

What she said.

[tlatoani.livejournal.com]

The result of this vote is binding, right?

[curgoth]

Sadly, I have to give neeuqdrazil veto rights on this since it is her brother. Were it mine, I'd just be going right to the woad.

[crystal-diva.livejournal.com]

I say only the full kit because of where you will be. I don't imagine that the fine folks of Nova Scotia will take too kindly to messing with their precious kilts, and they are somewhat more traditional that Bloor/Yonge ;-)

[curgoth]

My Nova Scotian coworker claims that I'm likely to be the only guy in a kilt at all - he's never seen someone in a kilt at a wedding.

[northbard.livejournal.com]

I wore a kilt and suit jacket to pixel and spice's wedding..

[outcastspice.livejournal.com]

that's what i was coming here to say :) the outfit worked well!

[notshakespeare.livejournal.com]

I wore my Prince Charlie with a standard white shirt. There is room for play there. However, much_ado is right, a modern jacket is to long to mesh with a kilt.

[heraldofchaos.livejournal.com]

you can never go wrong with woad.

even at a wedding.

[icedrake.livejournal.com]

Depends on where woad is applied. Because there's the post-wedding cleanup to think of, and some places, you'll be scraping blue out of for *weeks*.

[dymaxion.livejournal.com]

If you've got a somewhat nicer utilikilt, I could see that, if you're not worried about the social implications; the standard canvas ones really aren't good enough for a wedding. Also, I'll second the bit where you need to have a jacket that's cut to work with it, so no standard suit jackets. A tail coat could work, if it was cut right.

It's worth really thinking about what the wedding is going to be like, sadly -- it is kind of important to keep everyone happy there. A full kilt may actually be the best available option that's both expressive and socially acceptable.

[curgoth]

Yeah, I'd given thought to getting one of the dressy utilikilts, but the one I have is one of the heavy cotton ones, and it's well-worn. At this point, I might not even have time to order a new utilikilt if I wanted to - the shipping times can be very unpredictable across the border.

[neeuqdrazil.livejournal.com]

Priape carries Utilikilts in store...

*hint* *hint*

[curgoth]

I smell shopping trip!

[djinnthespazz.livejournal.com]

leather? maybe?

MMmmmm fresh leather...

[curgoth]

Y'know, a leather utilikilt and a proper tartan one are about the same cost...

[scarywhitegirl.livejournal.com]

I'm a big fan of the utilikilt in general, and they do make one that they call something like a tuxedo utilikilt - fancier fabric than the typical canvas. Plus, then you have a semi-practical item of clothing, unlike most items you might buy to wear to a wedding.

My ex wore his ordinary black canvas utilikilt when we were part of our friends' wedding party, and it went over super well. Even the super-conservative grandmother thought it looked nice. :)

[the-real-crispy.livejournal.com]

I'm a little torn on the the PC for the wedding as a guest. I've done it before myself, but generally speaking it's a bit over-kill (akin to wearing a tux). I'd suggest an Argyle jacket and ditch the vest myself.

[curgoth]

Hmm. I know Zil's dad has his own tux (he needs one often enough to justify it). I should find out if he's going to wear it. That'd give me a good reference point.

Much as I'm tempted by the skirt & pumps...

[metalana.livejournal.com]

I suspect that any man wearing "interesting" clothes will show up the groom. Kilt with full kit might get you mistaken for the hired bagpiper...

How about a regular suit with a nice cravat, or some other "interesting" accessory? Or the tartan kilt with suit jacket, if your particular jacket is a reasonable shape.

Re: Much as I'm tempted by the skirt & pumps...

[funos.livejournal.com]

I'd second that: have it Victorian if that's what you have, just avoid ornateness.

As an example: I know someone who made his own formal suit, good enough to wear amongst Parliament Hill folk. I was dark wool, understated, but the cut was 19th century all the way through, so it stood out in just the right way.

[mightydoll.livejournal.com]

much as I'm tempted to tick one of the latter few, I thought you might want my honest opinion about what would be appropriate at the wedding of someone who (If I'm understanding correctly) may or may not be of like minds to the rest of our friends.

If I was ever planning to get married again, I'd probably request the A line skirt, they're just so flattering to the figure!

[misslynx.livejournal.com]

A lot depends on how well you know the people getting married, what their preferences are, and what the other guests will be expecting. Some weddings are pretty conservative and you probably don't want to be wearing anything other than standard formal wear for those, or at least not more than a very slight variation on it; others are more appreciative of creativity.

In this case, hopefully neeuqdrazil knows her family's preferences well enough to know what would fly and what wouldn't -- and she seems to be pushing for the Utilikilt in her comment below, so that suggests you do have a certain level of creative freedom here. :-)

BTW, when kettunainen and I got married, our invitations said that people should dress up -- in whatever way said "special occasion" to them. We gave as examples that that could be anything from standard formal wear to pagan ritual garb to Victorian gothic attire. And we had as mixed an array of outfits on the guests as you might expect -- people in suits mixing with people in corsets and multicoloured dreadlocks and what not. It was pretty cool, and if were to someday get married again, that would probably the approach I'd want to take then too.

[curgoth]

Well, I know the Zil-Bro moderately well. Enough that he knows I'm weird, and should have some expectation that I'll do something at least a bit odd. The Zil-Fam are used to me showing up up to casual social events in my utilikilt, for example. I figure that gets me at least a little leeway.

I don't know the bride or her family that well, so that's the x-factor here.

[gentlyepigrams]

I've seen the suited kilt look and it's a bit less formal, but you can dress it up a bit with a partial sash in your tartan. I'd prefer tails with the kilt if you're not going for the full look. All depends on the formality of the wedding. Just don't muck up the shoes!

(The groom and his attendants and his father wore full kit at our wedding, and we had a number of guests in all states of kiltedness and tartan. I recommend the wearing of the kilt highly.)

[mcroft.livejournal.com]

As said groom, I agree with my bride.

For our attendants who did not wish to purchase their own kilts, we arranged for them to rent full kit kilts. You might well be able to rent the prince charlie and buy a kilt, and get the rest of your kit in shape later.

If you go with a less-formal coat, you might also consider a waistcoat under it. It's a nice option for dressing up a standard jacket and tie...

[thegiantkiller.livejournal.com]

I'm a big fan of Ticky Box, myself. Less brattily, I'd opine for the tailcoat option or some variation thereon.

[djinnthespazz.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid the velvet jacket is over the top for a wedding you aren't a member of ...

I think the mish mash is the best answer, with a tail coat. Yummy.
Of course this option with the Utilikilt would also be nice.

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

The full kilt sounds lovely, but wearing it in the middle of June could leave you hot, sweaty and very cranky.

[poeticalpanther.livejournal.com]

I went ticky box, because I can't imagine anyone seeking fashion advice from me. :)

[tormenta.livejournal.com]

I recommend that you try on everything you own in various combinations and see if you have anything that looks swank, decorative, understated and formal. This is what Arnon and I do and it works very well. It will help you figure out whether you need to do a shopping trip, and establish a back-up outfit.

Your utilikilt + a shirt + maybe a jacket + various kinds of boots.

Likely your new rocks are overkill, but you can get Suzy to help you shine a pair of docks to yumminess.

LOTS of people wear utilikilts to weddings in San Fran and they all look lovely.

[witchicist.livejournal.com]

But don't fall for the Cape Breton tartan. I fear it is ugly.

[curgoth]

I can make a decent argument for three clan tartans, one of them decent looking (Malcolm).

[witchicist.livejournal.com]

I'd go with the tartan, myself. You've already GOT a utility kilt (even if it might be getting scruffy around the edges.)

[olletho.livejournal.com]

You probably have enough various stuff to give yourself a small range of formality with the mash-up and a proper kilt. Not that many people know what is supposed to be worn with kilt kit anyway so long as it looks good. But there is only so formal you can get with a utilikilt and in my mind it ain't very, nice yes, formal no. Not the same things really.

Besides (provided you don't hate the tartan) I strongly suspect you will not regret getting a kilt proper, nothing else quite like it. Treat it right and it will last a lifetime.

[audreyovisual.livejournal.com]

I'm not that much of a traditionalist, really, but the parts of a proper Highland outfit are made to look good together. Suit jackets are too long,as others have pointed out.

You can rent the whole shebang for the wedding, to try it out before investing the big bucks for a kilt of any kind:

Cairngorm is one place, and they sell used rental kilts too if you want to get one cheaper than new (tartan choices are limited though.)