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Interview meme time again. Comment if you want to be questioned.
1) What draws you to the goth-y personna?
When I started wearing black, my reason was basically "I wear black on
the outside, because that's how I feel on the inside". As I got
older, I've grown a bit.
These days, the way I dress serves a few purposes. For one, it
filters out people. If someone is going to be upset or put off by a
guy dressed all in black, or wearing nail polish, etc., then they're
probably not someone I'm going to enjoy talking to. For another, it
identifies me to other people I'm more likely to get along with.
To be perfectly honest, like most introverts, I semi-secretly want
attention. Dressing loudly is partly me compensating for not speaking
loudly.
The choice of goth for the mechanism has two features: one; it suits
my aesthetic taste/mood, and two; it lets me play around with gender
image in a context I'm comfortable with (i.e., I'm definitely *male*,
but I like to mess around with what it means to be a *man* if you get
the difference).
And that's just fashion. There's still the music... This could be a
very, very long answer, so I'm going to stop now.
2) What are the downfalls you've found in poly?
It's a lot of work. Functionally poly relationships are a lot less
forgiving if those involved don't "do their homework". The hardest
part of poly, IME, is sitting alone when your partner is out on an
exciting date, particularly when you don't have any other partners.
It's hard when I want attention, and it's not "my turn".
You have to trust your partners, and be certain that they can trust
you. All relationships, in theory, require this, but poly tends to
make things blow up faster and more spectacularly if that trust is absent.
Things get more complicated because you have to balance the needs,
wants and priorities of more people. Scheduling is frequently
hellish.
3) What are the upsides?
When my partners have other partners, I'm no longer the only place
they can go to get their needs and wants filled - if I'm not
interested in $X, my partner can do $X with $PARTNER{$i}.
Similarly, I can get needs and wants filled from other partners.
Getting more of one or more of {love,attention,sex,NRE} is a big plus,
and the most obvious one.
In my case, I've never learned the "normal" guidelines for jealosy
management - I've never had an expectation in any of my relationships
that I wouldn't look, flirt, sleep with, etc. other exciting people.
I'm not sure I could manage that, now, having had the experiences I
have had. That freedom, and the negotiated level of trust, is
something I am accustomed to as part and parcel of a significant
relationship.
4) Given one wish - what do you do with it?
You ask tough questions. Or I'm in an usually verbose mood. I'm kind
of torn between giving humanity cheap, reliable personal
teleportation, and cheap, reliable ditto tech (ala David Brin's Kiln
People - short term clones that re-upload their experiences at the end
of the day).
5) What one thing do I not know about you and should?
This makes me think of warning labels - "May cause irritation" or
"call poison control centre if consumed". I have a very low tolerance
for musical theatre. I can handle musicals where I might like the
music anyway (RHPS, Hedwig and the Angry Inch), but for the most part,
the fastest way to get me out of a room is to put on a musical.
1) What draws you to the goth-y personna?
When I started wearing black, my reason was basically "I wear black on
the outside, because that's how I feel on the inside". As I got
older, I've grown a bit.
These days, the way I dress serves a few purposes. For one, it
filters out people. If someone is going to be upset or put off by a
guy dressed all in black, or wearing nail polish, etc., then they're
probably not someone I'm going to enjoy talking to. For another, it
identifies me to other people I'm more likely to get along with.
To be perfectly honest, like most introverts, I semi-secretly want
attention. Dressing loudly is partly me compensating for not speaking
loudly.
The choice of goth for the mechanism has two features: one; it suits
my aesthetic taste/mood, and two; it lets me play around with gender
image in a context I'm comfortable with (i.e., I'm definitely *male*,
but I like to mess around with what it means to be a *man* if you get
the difference).
And that's just fashion. There's still the music... This could be a
very, very long answer, so I'm going to stop now.
2) What are the downfalls you've found in poly?
It's a lot of work. Functionally poly relationships are a lot less
forgiving if those involved don't "do their homework". The hardest
part of poly, IME, is sitting alone when your partner is out on an
exciting date, particularly when you don't have any other partners.
It's hard when I want attention, and it's not "my turn".
You have to trust your partners, and be certain that they can trust
you. All relationships, in theory, require this, but poly tends to
make things blow up faster and more spectacularly if that trust is absent.
Things get more complicated because you have to balance the needs,
wants and priorities of more people. Scheduling is frequently
hellish.
3) What are the upsides?
When my partners have other partners, I'm no longer the only place
they can go to get their needs and wants filled - if I'm not
interested in $X, my partner can do $X with $PARTNER{$i}.
Similarly, I can get needs and wants filled from other partners.
Getting more of one or more of {love,attention,sex,NRE} is a big plus,
and the most obvious one.
In my case, I've never learned the "normal" guidelines for jealosy
management - I've never had an expectation in any of my relationships
that I wouldn't look, flirt, sleep with, etc. other exciting people.
I'm not sure I could manage that, now, having had the experiences I
have had. That freedom, and the negotiated level of trust, is
something I am accustomed to as part and parcel of a significant
relationship.
4) Given one wish - what do you do with it?
You ask tough questions. Or I'm in an usually verbose mood. I'm kind
of torn between giving humanity cheap, reliable personal
teleportation, and cheap, reliable ditto tech (ala David Brin's Kiln
People - short term clones that re-upload their experiences at the end
of the day).
5) What one thing do I not know about you and should?
This makes me think of warning labels - "May cause irritation" or
"call poison control centre if consumed". I have a very low tolerance
for musical theatre. I can handle musicals where I might like the
music anyway (RHPS, Hedwig and the Angry Inch), but for the most part,
the fastest way to get me out of a room is to put on a musical.
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2. Where would you live, if you could live anywhere?
3. Which superpower would you rather have - killer eyebeams, flight, or superspeed?
4. Pick one movie to live in - which one, and why?
5. If you could turn into any one animal at will, which would you pick?
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